Not Again

Once again I have subjected myself to young kids.

I went to volunteer at a kids triathlon, this morning. I run triathlons, and love to see youth getting involved in these types of sports. But, like all sports, there are the overbearing, pseudo-athletic parents who have raised a little turd kid that thinks he/she is the next L. Armstrong etc.

I was watching as the majority of the kids, with their ill-fitting equipment, ride by at the very end of their abilities. It was great to see these little kiddos pushing themselves. Then here comes Lance Jr. in his little leotard, emphasis on "tard", whipping the shit out of all these kids. Well, Lance Jr. wins of course and is prancing around the finish line in front of the onlookers and other little kid athletes in their tiny horn rimmed glasses and crooked bike helmets.

And then a miracle happens: God (or whoever) sends Lance Jr. my way. I was just standing by the water/powerade with my wife and he sauntered over with his little medal and trisuit. Did I mention that he was the only kid in a trisuit? The others had on, what appeared to be, the same clothes they wore to kindergarten that day.

Tour de France kinder says to us, "Yea, I think I won. I was second out of the water, but on the bike, pfttttt..." and gestures as though there is no way any of those lesser humans could have come close to his Excellency.

At this point I added, "Yea, you kicked the crap out of that four year old girl on the Schwinn." He looked at me very puzzled and wondered off. I actually felt good about that one. I was sure no one ever smacked his ego in the ass like that.

Guess I should be banned from kids' triathlons as well.