Got up this morning feeling healthy and strong. Not bad for a 40+, I said to myself as I did a little stomach flexing in the mirror. I shaved up, brushed up and had a healthy breakfast while listening to some Alternative/Indie Rock on Pandora. Kissed the wife, who was still in coma sleep, and headed out for a quick cup before the short drive to work.
I pulled into the office parking lot and charged up the stairs to the second floor. As I rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, I could hear hacking and coughing coming from the office door area near by. A co-worker from another section was standing in the doorway coughing up lung butter all over the place and looked like an extra from "Dawn of the Dead". I asked if he was ok? He says, as he is spewing particle of death, "Man I wished I could get rid of this shit". I just walked as fast as I could while holding my breath. I must have looked like one of those flamboyant speed walkers; you know, the ones with the leggings etc. I almost passed out while trying to reach minimum safe distance from the "Hot Zone". My mind took over and my brief "Clark Kent" feeling this morning turned to shite. I was infected. I could feel the virus teaming its way into each individual cell. Soon, I would be craving brains and human flesh. Fuck!
I thought about it more and more, realizing that I too have come to work a little sick. But when your ass is spraying plague all over everyone, I do believe summary execution is in order. Like Spock quoted from John 11:49-50, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one." So, go home because we don't want your ass here; believe me, we got it covered.
ASSHOLE!
